Monday, July 21, 2014

It's Still Me, But I'm Buried in Legos and Laundry

Hi Friends!  If you follow my Instagram (@langgangmama) you at least know I am alive.  If you don't, you have probably wondered if I have quit blogging altogether.  The answer is no.  At least I don't think so.  I still write a lot, but lately it is all in my head, and on sticky notes, on the pages of my planner, and even in the notes section of my iphone. Sadly, none of it has made its way onto the blog in awhile.

The good news is this:  I have had an INCREDIBLE summer with my family.  We have traveled more than we ever have before in the last couple of months.  To some of you that sounds like a nightmare, but for me and my gang, it has been glorious.  I figure the kids are going to need to eat, sleep, and argue anyway, so why not do it on the road?

This year we have been given the gift of time as a family, and we are soaking it up.

With that being said, school starts in two weeks and I am not counting down the days.  Part of me is SO DONE with family togetherness and all the Top 10 Ways to Keep Kids Busy in the Summer stuff.  Yet, categorizing and planning school supplies and lunch boxes puts a little pit in my stomach.

They'll go to school.  They will be another year older.  And my work load quadruples.

So keep me around.  Once the brain fog of chlorine and sunburns begin to fade my mind will eventually crave the tapping of keys.  The crazy Jesus girl will eventually eek her way out and I will have time to dive into my commentaries again. I find great joy in writing and talking with many of you who have become my friends.  See you soon.  xoxox

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Adoption Wrecked Us

Adoption wrecked us.  And we are still putting the pieces back together.  The wrecking ball started its destruction the moment we had the talk that would change our lives forever.

our family of 6 in 2010, two weeks before we became a family of 8
I can't think of one facet in my life that was untouched by the decision to bring another family's pain and loss into our own.  We are still in the rebuilding stage; working together allowing God to put the crumbled structure back together.  It is way harder than we thought it would be.  Adoption through foster care moved us past the zone of cushy thoughts and rainbow dreams; romantic ideas that look good in promo videos and travel flyers.

Adoption wrecked our picture-perfect life.  And I am so very glad it did.

We live in a broken world where bad things do happen.  We spend so much time cleaning carnage, that we very often forget why we do it at all.  Why?  Why am I writing about my wrecked life for all to see?

I didn't move toward adoption because I thought it would make things easier.  I knew that there would be big changes and that they wouldn't all be easy.  Brandon and I were both on board that this would change our family's landscape forever.  After weighing the cost, we went for it.  Passionately.

The word passion involves emotion.  And that's where is gets messy.

When I step back and take a look at the road that lead to adoption for our family, I can see that there is no perfectly good or easy answer as to why we chose this path.  We had four healthy sons.  We were blessed.  We were happy.  

All I can really say was that the desire to step into something greater than myself had taken over.  I longed for the valley of the unknown, trusting that losing myself in a place where I couldn't rely on my friends or husband to make life feel good was where I longed to be.

I wanted to taste the breath on my tongue that could only exist because my Creator willed it.  
No other reason.

Accepting the reality of our broken, flawed lives is the beginning of spirituality not because the spiritual life will remove our flaws but because we let go of seeking perfection and, instead, seek God, the one who is present in the tangledness of our lives. -Mike Yaconelli 

I got what I wanted.

3 1/2 years later, I can tell you that adoption provided a new lens from which my eyesight will never recover from.  And I don't want it to.

Looking at the photo above of our family pre-adoption stirs up emotions that I still cannot define.  I want to grab her (the pre-adoption me) neck and tell her that in a few months she will question everything.  

And it will get hard.

And she will be scared to death that she has ruined everything that used to be easy.  I want to tell her that eventually life will feel normal again and that her marriage will be stronger because she stuck to her convictions.

Her idea of who she should be will transform.

Her children will be more compassionate.

Her perfect parenting skills will all be out the window.

And that He showed up.  Jesus did.  And he continues to.  My faith in his promises never waivers.  We stepped past the shroud of picture perfectionism and God transformed our family.

We actively live a life that would have never been ours to embrace.

Yes, adoption wrecked us.  And it has been hard.  But we are only beginning to see the tiny glimpses of light that losing ourselves to a spiritual wrecking ball can bring.

God doesn't leave us wrecked.

It is his pure joy to re-build our family for his purposes.  He makes beautiful things out of us.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Adoption Update: Sensory Processing Disorder

When Hope came home to us at 10 weeks old the first things I noticed were her rosy cheeks and head full of curly back hair.  She was a cuddle bug who slept and ate well.  She was born with two holes in her heart and because of that her hands and feet would occasionally look a little blue.
Even so-

Everyone commented on what a good baby she was.

And she really was a good, easy baby.

But, babies are supposed to cry, and wake up at night, and not be so floppy and holdable all the time.

I loved that she was easy.  I didn't love the feeling that something wasn't right.

Going on mother's instinct I made sure that the early intervention team knew her name.  Even though her health was improving (both holes in her heart closed up by 6 months old), she was still not meeting regular milestones that other babies her age were.  I began documenting every physical attribute and behavior that didn't set well as I learned my little girl's cues and patterns.

We had no health history.  Not from either parent.  No pre-natal anything.  All the questions that well-meaning doctors and specialists asked me were followed by more questions.

Finally, at two years old when she still wasn't walking, along with consistent nagging, the right people began to take notice.  She started extensive speech, occupational, and physical therapies.

At three years old she started school at a developmental preschool 3 mornings a week.  She made incredible progress.  But she still struggled.

A few months ago we met with a developmental pediatrician for an entire afternoon.  More paperwork and a lot of tests.  And finally some answers.

Your daughter struggles with a disorder that we are still learning about.  Up until a few years ago, it wasn't even being properly diagnosed.  This is something that she will never  grow out of, but with the right interventions and therapies, she will have the tools to learn to overcome the obstacles that Sensory Processing Disorder throws her way.

Sensory Processing Disorder.  I had done enough research to suspect it.  But now the professionals were confirming it.  She was also diagnosed with Developmental Coordination Disorder.  I had never heard of this one, but it really is a thing.  It goes along with her sensory issues.

I am still digesting all of the information that I came home with that day.  My latest companion on the nightstand is The Out-of-Sync Child.  Chapter by chapter I am highlighting Hope's struggles and digging through the rest.  I am learning as we go, and realizing that even though we have a diagnosis my sweet girl still doesn't completely fit into one mold.  And I am ok with that.

Thank you for being a part of our journey.  I have no idea what the future holds.  But I do know that God has a plan for this super-special baby girl (whose not really a baby anymore).

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Matilda Jane Spring Collection

We Adore Matilda Jane Clothing!

We love it even more when Hope gets to model new collections and this time it's their new spring collection called It's A Wonderful Parade.  All MJC pieces are interchangeable and durable for those girly moments at a party or on the playground.  Hope is always comfy and adorable skipping around in her MJC outfits.

Hope (and her adorable cousin Penelope) are wearing the Love Bug Knot Top.  Hope fancied it up with the Cloudy Puffer Tee and the Sweetheart Ruffled Leggings.  As you can see, the knot top looks adorable with or without a tee underneath.  The details on each piece is what give this clothing line an edge to the other boutique styles out there.  The quality keeps us going back for more.

For a chance to win a $50 gift card to Matilda Jane Clothing go to my sister-in-law's blog becoming Julie Griffin and follow the instructions on the post.  She will be drawing a winner in one week.

Photography by the amazing Julie Griffin.  Arizona peeps book her for your next photo session!

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Answer {Update on Hyatt}

Have you ever met someone or read about a person who always seems to be in plain view when miracles appear?  As a skeptic, those people cause me to question my humanism, my skin that wonders how and when miracles happen.  Do they really happen all around us?  Or are those just the "glass-is-half-full" people who even think that the sunrise is a miracle (the more I think about it, I actually do).

Which leads me to my issue with myself.  I am that person.  I don't know quite when it happened.

Maybe it was when I was only 9 years old and I was drowning and cried out to God to save me.
And then I was safe on the shore (I still have no idea how I got from the middle of the sea to the sand).

Maybe it was witnessing my little brother's healing of a very high fever within moments of praying a little child prayer.

Maybe it was when I got pregnant for the first time?  Or witnessed my newborn's first breath?

Maybe it was when my toddler was underwater and blue, then hours later he was slurping a root-beer float.

The more I recall these -appointments- the more I wonder why I feel the need to explain a miracle.
These stories are just a few from my life, and aside from Jesus, would have a very different ending.

10 days ago my rambunctious 6 year old lay semi-conscious in a hospital bed at Phoenix Children's Hospital.  Hours earlier he was running around like the crazy boy he always is.

Then, bam.
He was on the floor in the middle of a church service, hitting his head pretty hard when he fell.

He didn't wake up for seven hours.

He mumbled a little in the beginning, and he tried to open his eyes (but said it hurt too much).  And then he didn't mumble again for a long time.

We took him into urgent care hoping for quick answers, but upon initial testing, the doctors decided to emergency transport him to children's hospital.

People started praying.

When I finally got into the room to get my hands on him I anointed his head and feet with oil and did not stop silently crying out to Jesus.  Our friends came.  Our church prayed.  Our family hunkered down.

Tests, and blood work, and suction cups and needles.  I was living a mother's worst nightmare.  I prayed that the doctors would find....answers.

The final test would reveal something, we were all sure of it.  And then, about 5 minutes before they came to wheel him away for the cat scan...

He. Woke. Up.

His eyes opened, he tried to sit up.  He wondered where he was.

My heart leapt.  Peace reigned. Color was coming back into his face and perfectly shaped lips.

About 3:30 a.m. that evening they gave us the choice to stay the rest of the night in the hospital and the next day run some more tests.  But as we held our son who was waking up more and more, I knew the look in his eye.  He was asking to go home.

Brandon and I shared a bunk bed with Hyatt that night, both of us taking comfort in his little boy breaths.  Neither of us wanting to be more than an arm's length away. Both of us silently taking in the life of our child.

You can say what you want.  But- my child was sick.  And then he wasn't.

There is my answer.  I don't need anything more than that.  I prayed.  You prayed.  And then he woke up.  All tests came back normal.  And that Miracle?  It's our answer.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Holiday Takeover {Easter 2014}

Kindness begins with one single act.  And what better way to point our children to the cross in a tangible way but to teach them how to put aside their desires for the good of another?

Serve on another in Love. Galatians 5:13

We can talk our little people's ears' off.  But, what they want to see is action.  Last Easter you may recall that I took back all their basket gifts and purchased breakfast foods to deliver downtown on Easter morning instead.  You can read the story behind our Easter Holiday Takeover here.  And how it actually went here.

We did it again at Christmas by giving them less (gasp!) and then using the unspent money to purchase items to families in need at our local church.  We gave comforters, grocery cards, and other necessities.  I had my 6 load it all up and take it with me to deliver the items a few days before Christmas.

This year we are going to switch it up a bit and put the giving into their own hands.  Instead of Brandon and I telling them how they will give, we are giving them each $5 to pay it forward for someone else.  We will encourage them to be creative, and then be available to help them out with whatever they come up with.  I am really excited about this one.  Can't wait to tell you how it goes. 

Friday, April 11, 2014

My Weakness, His Strength

Have you ever experienced a great high in life, maybe physical or spiritual only to be catapulted into a severe low before you even had a chance to really revel in the glories of your high?

As women we place ideals before us about our days, our husbands, our image, and our future.  These ideals start as little girls watching a scene unfold in every princess tale we read about.  The boy meeting the girl and getting whisked away into the sunset for a happily ever after.  As an avid goal setter, I am not about to say that we shouldn’t set goals, or have ideals for the way we would like our life to play out.  I am cautioning us as women, to not be so wrapped up in our plans that we completely lose it when life takes a detour.

Because here is the truth:

As the slow fade of reality unveils itself and all we have left is our weakness, there before us are the pieces of a messy life.  The ideals that once motivated us are now a mixing pot of plans, and our lives become more about trying to put it all back together than the altruistic days of dreaming.

We have two choices.  Either to accept our reality and step into freedom in Christ, or to slowly sink into the depression of what-ifs and have-nots.

God uses our weaknesses to finally get through to us.  It is only when we get to the end of our rope, with nothing left to hang onto that we finally cry out to God in exasperation to come and rescue us. In reality, he was there all along at the bottom of the rope begging us to let go.

He is waiting for you right now.  He sees you hanging on to that rope.  He threw it out there in an attempt to rescue you from yourself.  All you have to do is let go.  

And for the girl out there who is thinking about her best friend....Your weaknesses are not the same as hers.  I know as women we like to do things together.  But this isn’t the same as taking your friend to the potty with you.  No girl finds freedom hanging onto their best friend’s ankle.  Jesus, in his desire for personal relationship, pulls each person out one at a time as they individually surrender.

What does it mean to surrender?  To break free of a stronghold? How do we let him be strong in our weakness?  I realize that for some of you these are Christian terms that might be hard to wrap your mind around what is really being said here.  So I am going to break it down into three very practical ways to identify weaknesses and surrender them to Christ.

How do we let Him be strong in our weaknesses?  

1- Admit my weaknesses.
This can mean simply saying it out loud, it can also mean that you need have a conversation with someone is your life and ask for help.

 We alone cannot fix our addictions, our loneliness, our anxiety, our humanity, our anger, our food issues, our lack of self worth...

We bring it into the presence of Christ and let it go.

I do this by using I am statements, which remind me of God’s sovereignty:

I am strong because He is strong.

I am beautiful because He is beautiful.

I am worthy because He is worthy.

I am loved because He is Love.

2- Quit Comparing.
Comparison will kick you in the teeth and hijack your dreams every time
I often fall into the pit of comparison.  This leaves me feeling fearful, inadequate, and lacking confidence.  

3- Accept that you are loved.  
Just as you are.  Do you even know how much He loves you?  Even if you never did one more thing, Our Father in Heaven will never stop loving you.  He loved you before you knew who He was, and He will continue to love you for all of eternity.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Do you Speak the Truth, Yet Believe the Lie?

I don't post much about my workouts, body image, or even eating habits for that matter.  All of these aspects to physical fitness are extremely important to me.

But, the rotten truth is, I feel completely unworthy to talk about any of it.

Give me the platform for parenting, marriage, missional living, spiritual growth, really ANYTHING but my body and I feel confident enough to share a little truth, and at the very least, a lot of opinion.

But ask me about my workout this morning, or expect me to post on Facebook about my last run?  (I am laughing at even typing that one).

So what is it?  How come I, a seemingly confident woman, who knows that she is loved and accepted... made in the image of God, created to be an individual, etc, etc... How can I be so insecure with one of the most important gifts that God has given to me?

So here it is:  No matter how much truth I digest about the marks of a woman, why brains are better than beauty, and on and on and on...I still know that many people, even many Christian women, believe that our physical beauty is dependent on

our weight,

our diet,

our make-up,

our outfit,

our measurements,

how far we run,

and more.

We speak the truth, yet believe the lie.

Our self-esteem is destroyed by billboards and bad photoshop (see this Target ad).

We know that Psalm 139 says that we are God's workmanship, and his works are wonderful!  But we believe that we can destroy something wonderful by authentic living, real living that is hard, and bloody, and real.

Do you not think that God made our skin to stretch? Do you not think that he gave us those marks to remind us of the beauty of life?

Remind us of endurance?

Remind us of growth?

I want to live in a world where I can feel confident in front of a mirror.  I want to live in that place where we can all sport our marks as trophies and triumphs.  I want my body to be a testimony to how far I have come.

I suppose I am writing this today as a plea to be held accountable.

As a woman.

As a friend.

As a mother.

Because I know that the world we live in doesn't really esteem scars.

We pay to erase them.

Please do not laugh anymore at my remarks when I jiggle my thighs, or pinch the mommy pocket.  Don't let me complain that feeding my children ruined my boobs.  Don't ever let me say that I am too tall, not tall enough, my feet are too big, my cheeks too round, my butt too...well, let's leave it at that.

It should not be socially acceptable to criticize our bodies.  Let's not allow it any longer.

We say we don't compare, but then we stand there and compare.

And just so you know?  I'm done.

How about you?  Because, you?  The one reading this?  You are beautiful.  And so am I.

Friday, February 21, 2014

How BIG is that Mountain?

Springtime in Arizona is why we endure the summer.  Memories of orange blossoms, cool breezes and warm days are what get us through the awful hot months once they arrive and feel like they might never leave.

fyi--->(this is not a brag post for my friends buried in snow, if you happen to be sipping from a hot mug in your warm house right now, please know there is a part of me that is a little jealous, and will be A LOT jealous once August hits).  

Along with perfect outdoor temps, we also claim some of the best hiking trails in the west.  People really do come from all over to blaze a trail in the warm sun that melts away into cool nights.

Last weekend our gang of 8 tried out one of the rockier trails that boasted of scenic views, a small waterfall, and hieroglyphics etched into the rocks at the top.   Knowing it was only a three mile hike, we had high hopes that our kiddos could definitely master the trail.  We also knew that our ability to keep their eyes on the prize would be half the battle.

As the little legs in front of me began to tire, Brandon and I changed gears from trailblazer to motivational speaker...

Just one foot in front of the other buddy.

Focus only on each next step, and before you know it you will be at the top.

Oh you just wait till we get there, you will be so proud of yourself

Believe you can and you are halfway there (ok, I didn't really say that one, but I would have sounded really inspirational, right?)

And those little legs kept climbing.  Some steps slipping as their child-sized foot barely reached the next rock, but still etching forward to the goal none-the-less.

While taking in the views of the mountain my thoughts began racing ahead of me, whispering back to me from the top. I was reminded of a conversation that my sister-in-law and I had a few days prior about people in crisis.  Not the emergency kind of crisis, but the kind that sets a person's entire gait on walking through the door that may bring the least amount of pain.

Survival Mode.  Many people wake up to one more day of barely there.

They've been there so long they don't even know what life could look like without the fog of dangling.

Sometimes I would love to just go on a simple hike, but with time and maturity I am learning that even a walk can turn into a full blown spiritual lesson.  Sometimes my lessons include immediate action, and other times He just wants me to listen.  All at once the desert became my classroom, the trail my desk, and my Heavenly Father the perfect teacher.

As I listened, my thoughts illustrated in the dust with every step.  Every rock that tumbled, every person that I passed became part of the purpose.

...and we met many people on the trail that day.  Did you know that hikers are super friendly?  And if you want to talk to ALL of them then climb a mountain with 6 kids.  They'll be stopping to give you water even if you don't need it (ask me how I know).

As we passed the strangers, I smiled and said hello.  My gaze met their eyes, and I wondered what mountain they were really climbing that day.  We were all in the same place, on the same trail.  The nudging inside whispered to me that each one had their very own mountain.

It started with my own children.  I was at the back of the pack watching their little calves tighten with each step.  I know their mountains, mostly.  As my older ones navigate the tween years I prayed again that they would always allow their mama to hike with them up any trail, no matter the pain, we'll endure it together.

Little people tend to have little mountains, but to anyone, no matter the size, standing in front of a giant obstacle that is bigger than you is big.  No matter what size it actually is.

I thought of one of my sons who has prayed every night for help to pass a math test. Math is his mountain right now.

I have another son whose mountain is keeping his hands to himself and his mouth quiet at the appropriate times.

And my daughter, who has climbed more mountains already in 3 1/2 years of life than anyone I know.  She's still a little wobbly, but that girl is a climber.  And a fighter. And her story at the top will be one that I want to hear.  I don't want to miss a step of her journey.

And as I listened, and watched, and motivated, and smiled Jesus gently reminded me that everyone is climbing a mountain.

While my person wants to judge and question, my spiritual is in tact to whisper remembrances of their mountain.  Each one's mountain.  Standing toe-to-the-edge of what seems insurmountable.

And so my friends, my sweet readers who may have woken up today with a mountain that is too big...

Is it the same climb that you face everyday?

Have you just given in to its overwhelming size?

Is it new to you?

Is it a mountain that you never wanted to climb in the first place?

I have words for you...

He is bigger. My God, He is the creator of those mountains.  He formed the land in a day.  He is not only in the business of creation, but is also really good at restoration.  He wants you to know that he can see the top of your mountain and all the way down the other side.  He is the Alpha and Omega, which means he is the Beginning and the End to it all.  And the best part?  He made you.  And he loves you even more than I ever could.  He will never leave you.  He is climbing that mountain with you, right now.

Did my littles make it up that mountain last week?  They sure did.  They stumbled, stubbed toes, and stopped for respite, but each one made it to the top.  Did we celebrate? Yes!  Did we remind them that they were ready to give up at times?  Yes.  By the time we were in the car on the way home, we were already planning our next hike.  Because that is how great it feels to persevere through pain.  And know that you are not climbing alone.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. -Plato

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Reflections from IF:Gathering

My feet haven’t hit the floor yet as I am on my way home to Arizona from a weekend in Austin, Texas at the If: Gathering (watch here).  I have been looking forward to this experience for months now, and knew that I was going expecting, yet still didn’t know what to expect.  I was drawn by the powerful message of the slogan to “gather, equip, and unleash...” Also, admittedly curious as to how some of my favorite powerhouses in the world of Christian women influencers were going to come together with one voice.

As I sit here at 10,000 feet in the sky literally chewing on the meat of the Gathering, I am still asking God to reveal exactly why He sent me to IF.  Why was I one of the 1200 tickets that sold out in less than 40 minutes, and how did I also get the privilege of going with, and sitting with, and meeting with many other women who are also the visionaries of our generation?

There were a lot of big names on one stage during the four session conference over the course of two days.  I won’t pretend, I was a little star-struck and overwhelmed as we first entered the building on day one.  In my dreams I pictured myself casually bumping into Jen Hatmaker or Christine Caine and they nonchalantly ask me to sit and chat over a cup of coffee....  (aw....sigh).

Snapping back to reality....that didn’t happen.

But what did happen was this clarity of vision that became my passion over the weekend.  I did not sit and chat personally with Jen or Christine, or Bianca (one of my new faves, this girl can preach!)  But I did get the privilege of several uninterrupted conversations with many world-changers that I would have never known had I not traveled to this If thing that no one knew much about.

They might not have names that anyone else would recognize, but as I listened to their passion for God, their cities, their children, and other women, I knew I was in the presence of greatness.  

Normal women, just like those with their names in lights, answering the call and saying yes to go beyond the comforts of their kitchens.  

Women who have dared to dream and obey, and now that they have tasted obedience, cannot ever return to their normal life of complacency.  

You see, there are a few differences between the influencers on the stage and those in the audience without names in print or highlighted in lights.  

But not many.  

The former might have book deals, big name blogs, or thousands of followers on twitter, but what do they really have that you don’t?  Notoriety on the internet?  Is that what makes our calling valuable?

Listening to the speakers’ hearts was life-changing, and so many talented women on one stage was a pivotal experience for me.  But the meat I am really leaving with, the stuff that I am chewing on...were the stories of the women that sat next to me.

Those who continue to write even when nobody reads. 

Those who stand up for their Jesus and love the less fortunate and welcome them to their tables, and don’t expect anyone else to notice.  

Those who sacrifice daily for their audience of One.

When God watches his daughters live in the freedom of their passions, he doesn’t see notoriety or book deals.  He is the same God that existed before the internet, and the same God who will live beyond the social media frenzy of our generation.  

Before the internet, our influencers that we have put on a pedestal would have been the same mamas sitting beside us on the park-bench at play-group, the same women who sign up for bible study and worry about their cute factor, and whether or not someone will make room for them.

Does it mean that Ann Voskamp or Jennie Allen serve a greater God? Or that their gifts are more noteworthy?  Honestly, no.  These are women who have influenced all of us greatly, and we admire their tenacity in the Spirit.  

They don’t have a secret for their success.  They just said yes.  Again and again.  They kept going when no one else noticed their sacrifice.  They loved their God greater than they loved anything else.  

And so do you.  And if you are still thinking this doesn't pertain to you...

To the mom who stays up all night with a sick have something important to say.

To the college student who just wants someone to know her serve the same God as your hero who publishes in print.

To the single woman who wonders if she needs a husband to validate her... Your desire to free the injustices of the less fortunate is necessary.

To the young tired mama who welcomes other tired, lonely, mamas into your living room... You give them value.  

To every other woman who is holding back her yes because you think that your yes isn’t enough to make a difference.  Please reconsider.

Shelley Giglio: Your yes hangs in the balance of a lot of people's futures.

Jennie Allen: If we would just do what God has called us to do- together we could do great things.

Rebekah Lyons: Is the life you lead the life that longs to live in you?

Jen Hatmaker: If we had the eyes of Christ, we'd see the world not as our enemy, but as our future brothers and sisters in Christ.

Angie Smith: When I get to Heaven and am standing before Him, I want my cheeks to be flushed from the labor of what I did in response to the way He saved me.

I believe that the IF:Gathering is a benchmark for our generation.  A catalyst for change. A war-cry for church girls.  I am so very proud to call all of these women my people.  I am even more proud for my daughter to grow up in a world with strong capable women who are so dependent on Jesus their knees hurt.

To purchase the If:Gathering bundle with the audio or video from all four sessions click here.  

To join If:Equip which is an online study out of the book of John, click here.