Desperate: Chapter 14

Desperate... Not Defeated

He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son. Revelation 21:7

*Seven times in the book of Revelation, God says that he who overcomes will be blessed in some way.  Throughout this book, we have spoken of the many ways we all encounter difficulty and challenge in our walks as moms.  In what ways is the focus of your heart the most important part of overcoming the difficulties and becoming one who lives victoriously throughout all the days of motherhood?

And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.' 2 Corinthians 12:9

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. Psalm 103:13

*As a loving father, God cherishes helping us with all of our burdens.  With the God who created the whole universe on our side, what qualifies you to complete your journey of motherhood with grace and confidence?

*What is God's heart attitude toward you as a mom?

Join us over at our Facebook Group to discuss your answers,

also feel free to comment below.

Questions taken from page 176-177 of 

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

By Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

The Mama My 5 Year Old Says I Am

If you want to make a room full of mamas tear up, then put their preschooler in front of them singing "How Sweet it is to be Loved by You" (complete with dance moves) and stand back as the magic happens.  Every mom sitting there will immediately forget the extent to which that child squeezed every last ounce of patience from her earlier, and she will only see an angelic, almost kindergartner, who can do no wrong.  

As I soaked in the moment, I pictured the little man that Hyatt is growing more into everyday.  I blinked a few times to seal the memory into my brain of this sweet yellow polo shirt, saltwater sandal wearing, tousled blonde hair boy.

this reserved my seat in the VIP Mom section

Reading through the card on my chair made me laugh.  But I can't just leave it at that.  I read Hyatt's honest answers knowing that he really does think I do some things right, and more than that, he knows that he is loved.  I curiously wondered what all of the notes said to the other mamas as we all sat in a line bleary eyed over our babies growing up.

What is the best thing about Mom?  

That she loves, and that she gives me kisses. And, that she brings me to school, and that she loves me every time I do bad things.

The more I thought about Hyatt's answer, the more I forgot about all of my shortcomings as a mom, and realized that even though I mess up daily, there must be a few things I am doing right.  I know this in short description, but down deep I still struggle with wondering how I am doing at this whole mama thing.  And from talking to other moms, I know that I am not the only one.

At the end of the day, my boy knows that he is loved.  

He not only knows it, but he feels it.  

My love is proven to him again through my actions, 

and most of all through my forgiveness.

It is Mother's Day Moms!  Let yourself off the hook this weekend.  Relax a little.  Know that your kids love you, and even though you mess up, they think you are the best mom in the whole world.  They don't have an alternate agenda this weekend when they tell you that.  So when they say it to you, BELIEVE it!  And then take a moment to tell each of them just how much you love and adore them too (even though they have just destroyed your kitchen making you breakfast in bed).

We can all sit around and talk about the ways that we come up short, but this weekend is the time to put your feet up, and be proud that you are in fact the best mom in the whole world.

Happy Mother's Day to every Mama!  

A Mother's Day post would not be complete from me without acknowledging my own Mama, telling her how much I love and adore her.  Also, thank you to my Mother-in Law for raising a son with character and Jesus.  I love you both!  

Share this post with a mama who needs to hear that she is the BEST today!

To read the Mother's Day post I wrote thinking of my adopted children's birthmom, click here.

To read a tribute I wrote to my own mom, click here.

Desperate: Chapter 13

The Art of Life

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; And by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4

*Bringing beauty and traditions to our homes provides us with the opportunity to craft a home that is pleasurable, comfortable, and inspirational. How can you fill your home with treasures of life that build faith, love, close ties, and a sense of family history?

*What kind of atmosphere do you hope your home will reflect?

The heavens are telling the glory of God; and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands. Psalm 19:1

*As we view the stars and the sunsets, we see a part of God's artistry and the beauty of His work. How can you manifest the work of your hands by the creativity and art you personally reflect in your home?

Join us over at our Facebook Group to discuss your answers,

also feel free to comment below.

Questions taken from page 164-165 of 

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

By Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

Desperate: Chapter 12

Living on Purpose

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1

*Who is responsible for building your children's legacy?

*What do you need in order to build a house?

*What does it mean to be a foolish woman or a foolish mother?

She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 'Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all. Proverbs 31:27-29

*What will be the results of your hard work and efforts if you follow God's design for you in building your children into a godly legacy?

Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

*Ultimately, when we meet Jesus face-to-face, he will say, "What did you do to whisper the secrets of the kingdom of heaven into the hearts of your children? How did you glorify me in your home? How will you answer those questions?

*Who is the real person we are supposed to please in the labor of mothering?

 Join us over at our Facebook Group to discuss your answers,

also feel free to comment below.

Questions taken from page 151-152 of 

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

By Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

Celebrating Huxton's Life: One Year after the Accident

Today is a monumental day for us.  One year ago, our little (then 2 yr. old) jumped into the deep end of a pool without a splash to alert anyone.  Even though there were more than enough responsible adults around, no one noticed as he put his toes to the edge, and jumped down into the water without any fear.

It is important to me to share this story again, as I probably will every year on the anniversary of our Hucky's second chance.  I cannot stress enough how important it is to watch your kids around water- even when you think you already do.  Believe me, I am the ultimate 'prepared' parent.  But nothing could have ever prepared me for the events of April 29, 2012.  To read the story of the day we almost lost Huck, please click here.

72 hours after the accident, I wrote a follow-up here.  After a couple of days of watching Huck very closely to make sure that he had fully recovered, I was able to formulate my thoughts in an effort to help parents watch for some of the ways that we think we are being safe, but can be still be putting our children in danger.

One year later:  Today Huck is a happy and healthy 3 1/2 year old.  About six months after the accident his hair started to fall out in clumps.  We took him to his pediatrician who sent us to a specialist to see what was going on.  We learned that the human body responds to trauma in many ways, and this was one of the ways that Huck's body was repairing itself after healing from an intense fight for his life.  He still loses hair when I comb it sometimes, but not nearly the amounts that were falling out a few months ago.  If you have seen his hair lately, you know that I have let it grow as much as it wants to in an effort to hide some of the bald spots that resulted in his hair loss.  Plus, it is adorable.

He also went through a period of night wandering and many sleepless nights.  This was also a result of his little body dealing with the trauma.  Today, he sleeps just fine, all night long once again.

We were just at the same pool yesterday and I cheered him on as he was swimming laps with his brothers.  He is still fearless of the water, and I am so thankful that he can still swim and play without a care.  He is also signed up for another summer of swim lessons.  Brandon and I have talked a lot this year about how *almost* losing a child puts things into perspective more than just about anything else.  God gave us more time with this precious little guy, and we pray that he continues to grow into the man whom God created him to be.

To read about more of Huck's antics and how this little man has kept us on 

our toes since the moment he arrived, you can click here.

Desperate: Chapter 11

All the Voices that Influence Us

The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted. Proverbs 29:25

*Do you fear the opinion of people in your life?

*Why do you think that the fear of man brings a snare?

*What is more important: living the life God has set out for you, or living in a way that is acceptable to others?

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

*What does it mean to be conformed to this world?

*Are there any ways in which you are conforming to this world?

*Can you be transformed if you are still relying on the voices of others?

*What does it mean to be transformed?

 Join us over at our Facebook Group to discuss your answers,

also feel free to comment below.

Questions taken from page 140-141 of 

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

By Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

Desperate DVD Release

Happy Monday Morning!  If you ever visit my blog on a Wednesday, you will notice that I am in the middle of an online book study based on the book Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson.

 I first decided to start a book study after I was able to preview Desperate.  You can read that post here if you want to know more about it.  I was thrilled that so many mamas caught the vision and joined our group.  Every Wednesday and throughout the week we have wonderful conversation and loving support for each other.

For any of you who would still like a copy of the book, I have great news for you today only (Monday April 22nd) the Desperate e-book  is on sale for $3.99.  Check it out here on Amazon.com.

Have you read Desperate and would like to facilitate a group study?  The DVD is releasing today!  If anyone buys 5 paperbacks (think group study), they get the DVD for FREE.  (The DVD is a compilation of the videos that are at the end of each chapter, great for a small group format).

*The e-book is only on sale today, but the paperback deal is good through Friday.  There are also giveaways all week at sarahmae.com/.


*If you are on twitter, you can keep up with what others are saying about Desperate by using hashtag #desperatemom.  My twitter handle is @langgangmama.

*Check out my Desperate board on Pinterest, and start pinning your favorite quotes.


Hope for the mom who needs help. Hope for the mom who needs a mentor. Hope for the mom who needs a full nights sleep. Hope for the mom who is lonely. Hope for the mom who needs to breathe.  We want you to know that you can do this motherhood thing, and that you are not alone, or crazy, or a failure as a mother. 
-Sarah Mae, author of Desperate

Desperate: Chapter Ten

Figuring It Out New

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

*Do you truly realize, in the deepest corner of your heart, that the failures and pain that have limited you as a mother have passed away through the love and work of Christ in your life? What are the new things that have come with your understanding of God's grace?

*How will this change the way you mother and love your children?

Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19

*God is always about new creation. What "former things" do you need to forget?

*What "something new" do you want to see God do in your life?

*What is He doing already?

 Join us over at our Facebook Group to discuss your answers,

also feel free to comment below.

Questions taken from page 126-127 of 

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

By Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

Desperate: Chapter Nine

Taming the Beast of Housework

She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night. Proverbs 31:17-18

*In what specific areas of housework and home do you need to "gird yourself with strength"?

*What "good gain" do you want to reap with your work?

*What goals do you need to set to accomplish this?

Wisdom has built her house, she has hewn out her seven pillars; she has prepared her food, she has mixed her wine; she has also set her table; she has sent out her maidens, she calls from the tops of the heights of the city: 'Whoever is naive, let him turn in here!' To him who lacks understanding she says, 'Come, eat of my food and drink of the wine I have mixed. Forsake your folly and live, and proceed in the way of understanding. Proverbs 9:1-6

*What sort of atmosphere are you creating for your children in your home?

*Are they called to goodness by the home and life you are shaping for them?

*What influence does the atmosphere in your home, the work you do, and the attitude you have toward that work communicate to your children?

Join us over at our Facebook Group to discuss your answers,

also feel free to comment below.

Questions taken from page 113-114 of 

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

By Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

A Loss for All

This past weekend there was a tragedy in Southern California.  Rick and Kay Warren (Lead Pastors of Saddleback Church) lost their 27 year old son to suicide resulting from mental illness.  I haven't met the Warren's personally, but I have been to their church, followed their ministry, and read their books.  I know that people have all kinds of opinions, but when it comes to someone losing a child, there is a common compassion that any parent would hurt for another in their time of grieving.

This painful tragedy has sparked a lot of support from the Christian community in general.  There is an understanding that when one hurts, we all hurt.  But of course, it has also come with judgement which is a shame, since all there should be is love.

Take that even a step further for anyone who serves in full-time ministry.  There is this idea that the pastor's family somehow is immune to the same pain that the parishioner's family suffers.  Dear readers, I speak from experience: not only is this misconception untrue, it is generally the opposite.

Growing up as a pastor's kid in Southern California, I know first-hand the pressure that is put on children whose parents are in ministry.  My dad wasn't a top-selling author nor did he have a following that would equal the size of a mega-church, but we were raised with the understanding that the world was watching us and we needed to be the people who they thought we were.  My parent's put the pressure on, but the people of the church also expected more from us.

This belief took its toll on my parent's marriage and the way they parented myself and my brothers.  Their relationship was on the verge of destruction most of the time, but no one on the "outside" was allowed to know.  Just like all things done in private, the ugly truth was finally exposed and after 20 years in the ministry my father left the church, our family, and even his faith for awhile.  I am not excusing his behavior, nor blaming anyone else.  I am saying that it was in this time of some of the hardest pain of my life, the church as I knew it let us down.  There were a few that stepped up, but mostly we were left to fend for ourselves and figure out what to do next on our own.

I understand this this is partly generational, but it still exists.  Now I have my own children and my husband and I are in our own ministries.  We are not the lead pastors of a church, but we were raised to lead, and since that is where our giftings lie, we do.  And I struggle with it sometimes.  I remember the pain of my childhood and I know that Satan preys on those who are called to live radically and dare to be world-changers.  I am also aware of how relentlessly the enemy privately attacks those who minister publicly.

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.  Proverbs 15:13

As a mommy and a blogger I am also aware of the eyes that are looking at me as I talk about my marriage and parenting very openly online.  I do count the cost.  As I count, I know that it is still worth it.  But even as I know the eternal wins out over the temporal, the temporal can still be painful.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

Beth Moore wrote an emotional post after she heard of the passing of Matthew Warren, citing her anger at how some Christian bullies will use this pain as a pedestal for their "attacks."

She summed up her article with this statement: I love the Body of Christ. I don’t want  to get cynical. I don’t want to sit around and hate the haters or I become one. But this morning I just want to say this. We can love each other better. Let’s do. People have enough hurt. Let’s be careful with one another.

We all hurt.  None of us is immune to the pain that accompanies residency in this world.  My family still suffers from the hurt of the expectations of the church.  I have two brother's whose indescribable pain may never heal on this earth.  But we press on.  Because we believe our God is greater.

He goes before us.
He will never leave us.

I pray that the Warrens will continue to feel the love and support from the church worldwide.  For this is how it should be.  May the words of those who understand grace be the loudest.  And as you sit under your pastor this weekend, pray for his family.  Pray for his marriage, his children, and his spirituality.

For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. Ephesians 6:12

Ann Voskamp summed up her thoughts on mental illness and the church in this post you can read here.